Sometimes I feel like I have mood swings when it comes to my prayer life. Prayer is one of those things that resembles something like the wind. At times, my prayers can be like that of a hurricane where I can’t seem to get enough out; my pen can’t keep up with the breath of my heart. These are times where words flow like a raging river that has no end point.
Then there are those times where I can’t seem to buy a word. Prayer looks like staring out of a window in silence.
There are times where my heart has no thought, and no breath; the screen remains blank with the cursor’s captivating blink.
It is in the times where I have nothing that I am so thankful for the Psalms.
In the midst of my heart’s lack of description, I like to tap into the words of David’s heart. I love getting lost in the intimacy of his words to a very known God in his life.
Our unedited thoughts with God is the most real form of worship we can get. [tweet this]
David always brought his many and few to God.
He knew everything mattered to God.
I am constantly blown away by how unedited David was with God. He held no word, or emotion, back from his God.
David was “all in” even when he “wasn’t there” yet.
I have been stuck in Psalm 63 . I am captivated by the future tense of how David brings his prayer.
In this Psalm, David consistently uses the phrase, “I will.”
This tells me that David might not have been in the place he was talking to God about.
For example, David states:
The phrase “I will” speaks to a place David will choose to believe in. “I will” tells me that David was not quite there yet. That is so refreshing to me.
I feel this future tense very much in me. I am not in a place where praising him, trusting him, and hoping are coming easily.
BUT the point is that in the midst of this place, I want to remember that choosing God is what matters. Choosing Him is worship.
I am going to speculate and say that I don’t think David was in a heart place where praising, trusting, and depending on God were coming easily as well. By saying, “I will” kept David obedient and present with God. David chose God in the midst of when choosing him might’ve been hard.
No matter the state of my heart, whether overflowing or desert(ish), I want to say “I will” to choosing God.
Worship is just that, choosing faith when you don’t see, belief when you’re waiting, or just being honest – enabling intimacy.
What kind of conversations are you having with him these days?
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