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The extent to which you can recall and feel what you went through in the past is the extent to which you will be able to offer yourself and make a difference in the world. The more you remember and feel your experiences, the better you will relate to others. — Chris Hilicki

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Josh has an incredible heart for God and is passionate about helping create environments that lead people to experience God.  He has tremendous gifts that enable him to help churches advance the Kingdom of God.

My Greatest Challenge In Life So Far (And Yours Too!)

Written by Josh Collins. Posted in Misc

We all face challenges. Each and everyday presents a new one. Sometimes they are small ones and sometimes they are giant-sized-man-eating-zombie-robot kind of challenges. Ok that might be a little far-fetched but it sure did roll off the tongue kind of nice, but you get the picture. Our response to those challenges gives us a starting point and a pretty good definition of the word character.

Phrases like “when the going gets tough, the tough get going,” and “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” are used to inspire us, but mostly come across as ridiculous platitudes from those who say them, because clearly they haven’t had to face the same kind of challenges that you and I have. (at least that’s what we judge anyway)

challenge of comparison

Photo Credit: William Hook via Compfight cc

And recently, I had a conversation with someone who blew me away. Within the first few sips of my warm tasty beverage, he admitted that his life has been relatively easy. He had always had a good job that paid well, his marriage and family never presented much conflict, and frankly never experienced any needs that weren’t met.

I nearly spit out my drink!

My first thought, was “man, how awesome is it that this person acknowledges this,” and then my second thought was “man, I wish I could say that!

That’s immediately when the trap door opened and I fell right in.

I have struggled more with comparing myself to other people and their stories of success and failure, than any other challenge in my life. In different seasons, it’s been completely debilitating.

Comparison will steal from you

As a kid in school, I used to get in a bit of trouble, especially early on. Everything came easy to me, and the teacher would never move fast enough. After being put in all the advanced classes they had, I still found myself pretty much bored.

Learning new things, and understanding how things worked, have always come easy to me so at 15, I was the youngest kid ever accepted into Compaq’s (now HP) internship program.

Even as an adult, if something needs to be fixed, I can fix it, or if something needs to be built or done, I’m your guy.

What’s awesome about that is, it’s created in me, an insatiable desire to learn and continue to grow. I’m a student of business, culture, life, technology, and just about anything else you can think of.

But the dark side of that has created in me a nasty comparison monster.

And the truth is the best way to lose your voice is to compare it to someone else’s [I’d love it if you would tweet that]

I’d love to sit here and tell a before and after story for you, but that would be dishonest. While I have experienced a tremendous amount of growth in this area, it is something that I have to constantly keep in check. The good news is that trap door has become easier to see, which allows for me to avoid it more frequently.

A trigger for my growth recently came from hearing Jon Acuff talk about not comparing my beginning to someone else’s middle or end.

That was tremendously powerful for me to allow to take root.

So how do we avoid it?

Avoiding the trap door of comparison is easier said than done, but here are a couple of the things I’ve done that have helped me.

  1. Stay connected to your community. Comparison loves isolation. They are distant cousins and love when you give them reason to get together and have a blast wrecking your thought life.
  2. Give a few people permission to remind you of who you are. This might be hard at first, but over time, when you allow people to speak into your being, it’s amazing what you’ll see happen.
  3. Believe that God has you right where you are. There is rest to be found in this place. I challenge you to experience it.

Creating the Awesome in life, church, business or whatever project you’re engaged in, will be sabotaged if you allow comparison to overtake you like it used to for me.

The most important thing to know is that we must learn from the experiences of others but not compare them with our own.

Do you struggle with comparison? What have done that has helped you and could help the rest of us as well?

Share your thoughts below!

 

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Josh Collins

Josh Collins is a Communicator and Experience Architect who lives in Franklin, Tn. His passion is to create awesome experiences that change the way we engage audiences and help you do the same.
  • Rob Beaudreault

    Great thoughts, Josh. I totally just had the same revelation about comparison yesterday and actually blogged a bit about it myself. Thanks for the insight & the advice. Keep being Awesome!

    • http://thejoshcollins.com/ Josh Collins

      Thanks Rob! For some reason, this felt like war putting this out there. Thanks for reminding me I’m not alone!

  • http://www.allofthethingsrachel.blogspot.com/ rachelcb

    I used to struggle with comparison. Big time. I am a “do-er”…i just want to do things and i want them done quickly (Gen Y for sure!) My boyfriend, a Gen X-er (and an old man at heart) is wonderful at reminding me to take my time, and enjoy the ride up. And when I start comparing myself to others, he tells me I’m not them. I am me. And I’ll never reach my full potential by trying to be anyone else.

    These are things I know, and I can tell myself over and over, but it really helps to get reminders from your family and friends (and other bloggers!) about how unique you are, and how nothing happens overnight.

    When fear and comparison kick in, I take a moment, and look at where I was, where I am, and where I want to be. Just being in that very moment helps me so much!

  • Robbie Novella

    We compare with others when we ‘think’ they have a better deal. The truth of the matter is the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence- that is, until we get to the other side of the fence. Life has taught me to be content with what I have [Paul says the same in Philippians 4:11], not to settle for the average (this Paul does not say), but rather to strive to be the man God created me to be. Always nice to ‘want’ but be careful- it may become a reality and then we land up wishing to go back to the ‘good ole days’.

Posted on: June 21, 2013

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Franklin, TN
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